


Blame it on the Alcohol

by Blissfulbroadway



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Drinking, Drunken Confessions, Drunken Kissing, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Kissing, M/M, Name-Calling, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Self-Destruction, Underage Drinking, alcohol use, boys are stupid, but they love each other - Freeform, conman, kleinphy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-05-21 03:49:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14907759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blissfulbroadway/pseuds/Blissfulbroadway
Summary: Connor and Jared get pretty shitfaced. (Terrible) gift for my favorite fan-artist @mis.march on instagram!





	Blame it on the Alcohol

**Author's Note:**

  * For [missymisery](https://archiveofourown.org/users/missymisery/gifts).



> This is a pretty awful gift and I’ve also never been drunk before so I’m terribly sorry it’s bad!! If I ever feel like it I’m definitely writing another (better) oneshot for Kleinphy!

Jared swung his legs over the edge of the roof, allowing them to just dangle off the side. Then, he patted the spot beside him, waiting for Connor to follow before he started unscrewing the top of the vodka bottle.  
  
Drinking on a roof was fucking dumb. What was even worse was drinking on a roof with Connor Murphy.  
  
But, it was Connor’s idea after all. He was the one calling up Jared’s phone an hour or so prior, his voice strained from crying, asking Jared if he still had that vodka hidden away from his parents. Jared said yes; Connor then asked if he could come over to pick it up and give Jared money. Jared scoffed, muttering a curse or two. But, he thought of it for a moment, asking Connor to come over and drink with him instead.  
  
Jared was so lonely. And so was Connor.  
  
Now, they sit next to one another, legs swinging over the edge of a rooftop, high off of the ground. They’re both broken. One openly, one not. The only thing bound together and saved was the bottle of vodka held tight in Jared’s grip.  
  
“Sorry it’s not, like, cold.” Jared said, giving Connor an apologetic look before handing him the bottle first.  
  
“Shut the fuck up.” Connor shot back. Jared silently told himself it was good that he didn’t bring ice, because Connor was providing it in words.  
  
Connor took a swig, carelessly. His eyes fell closed and the vodka ran down his throat, burning and so satisfying. He shuddered, pulling it away from his lips before wiping his mouth and handing the bottle to Jared. Connor handled it so easily.  
  
It was the only thing that filled him with any happiness, if he could even call it that. What was happiness, anyways?  
  
“Y’know, teenagers drinking on the edge of a roof is a recipe for disaster.” Jared pointed out right before taking a sip of the alcohol himself.  
  
Connor chuckled, watching Jared wince at the taste, or the feel, or his words, before responding. “Yeah? Well, guess what?”  
  
Jared glanced to him, tilting his head slightly to the side. Connor smirked, taking the bottle from his hand and waving it in the air. “We’re both disasters. That’s why we’re here, you know.” Connor reminded, letting out a shaky, unreal laugh before taking another huge swig. It terrified Jared to watch. Jared described Connor as blasé, and it seemed quite apparent when he drank like a fucking pro and laughing like a lunatic. He was seventeen and already dead.  
  
What the fuck was he _doing_? What were _they_ doing? Why the hell were they _doing_ _this_?  
  
Jared swallowed, taking the bottle back and screwing the cap on. Connor immediately tried to swipe the bottle back, but Jared clicked his tongue and held it out of reach, lurching forward a bit and holding Connor’s shoulder- he didn’t want to fall, and he had to stop Connor.  
  
“Let’s- please, let’s go inside. This is fucking dumb.” Jared pointed out, carefully pulling back before gesturing to his bedroom window. Connor rolled his eyes, but didn’t take another moment before he shakily shifted closer off the edge of the roof, his leg searching for the window pane. He found it, stepping onto it, the other foot carefully doing the same, before he gripped the roof and practically threw himself into Jared’s room with a grunt.  
  
“Jesus fucking Christ, you freak. Are you alright?” Jared questioned, his voice full of masked concern. Connor lazily waved his arm, sitting up as if he didn’t almost kill himself trying to get into Jared’s room.  
  
“Yeah, I’m fine. Now, get in, dumbass. Unless I have to get a ladder.” Connor instructed, standing with a groan before walking to the window and looking up.  
  
“Uh...yeah, actually. It’s easier climbing out than in.” Jared said, rubbing the back of his neck and pulling his knees to his chest. Connor let out a sigh, but nodded to himself.  
  
“Okay, fine. Stay put and don’t, like, die. I don’t feel like explaining that shit.” Connor said, heading out of Jared’s room to the shed where the ladder was kept.  
  
Not even fifteen minutes later, Jared and Connor were sitting across from one another in Jared’s room on his bed, passing the vodka back and forth like before.  
  
It started out pretty silent, with some occasional bickering and some scolding over Connor spilling the vodka onto Jared’s comforter. But, before they knew it, the alcohol loosened them up a bit and they spoke more freely. Although, Jared was pretty lightweight, and started getting mouthy earlier on. Connor didn’t mind, because soon enough they were on the same page.  
  
“We’re fucking dumb.” Jared said frankly, shifting around before laying back on his bed, handing the bottle to Connor above him.  
  
“You’re fucking dumb.” Connor corrected, easily taking the bottle and drinking some more. It was more than half-empty at this point. “Your alcohol is shit, and you’re probably going to get into trouble.” Connor added, drinking more before placing the bottle down on Jared’s bedside table. Connor pulled his knees to his chest, hugging them close and watching Jared with lidded eyes.  
  
Jared laughed at Connor’s words. That was one of the good things about Jared being drunk out of his mind. He didn’t have to worry about masking his stupid laughter. It bubbled happily in his chest, exploding from his lips, warm and full of snorting and little giggles. He normally hated it, but now it wasn’t a bother to him. Jared didn’t feel anything. Maybe something close to happiness. He wasn’t quite sure, if he were honest.  
  
Connor listened to Jared’s laughter, something of warmth spreading to his heart, making it flutter more than the alcohol had. It even brought a smile to Connor’s lips, and he laughed along with Jared. Before he knew it, Connor shifted before laying back beside Jared, their heads side-by-side.  
  
Jared glanced up and to the side, and even while drunk his breath hitched being this close to Connor Murphy. Jared wasn’t quite sure what feelings were streaming though his blood, just that they were intense.  
  
Connor felt Jared’s gaze on him, so he looked to the side, and suddenly their faces were only inches apart. Connor swallowed, pushing himself into a sitting position so quick it was surprising he didn’t fall off the bed. Connor wasn’t a lightweight. He knew exactly what feelings he felt. Although, he was more than tipsy.  
  
But, this was wrong. He was the one crying earlier, begging Jared to give him some alcohol because his parents finally had the sense to lock the liquor cabinet and Connor needed _something_ to ease his pain. As if the lines across his arms weren’t easing enough.  
  
Still, he couldn’t come to Jared’s place, get him drunk while being less than sober himself, and allow himself to be that close to Jared. Kissing distance. Connor swallowed, but his mouth was still dry. It wasn’t the warm alcohol that caused it, either.  
  
Connor brushed a hand through his hair, looking down to Jared.  
  
“I’m going to- uhhh, get some...water. I’ll be back, loser.” Connor explained, to which Jared nodded happily, snorting at the nickname.  
  
“Don’t you dare fuckin finish the rest of my vodka, cutie.” Jared replied, rubbing his head and letting out a soft hiccup. Connor’s breath caught in his throat, but he didn’t dare question it. He simply stood, stumbling out of the room as fast as he could.  
  
_Cutie_. Hell, Connor never sobered up so fast. It was fucking terrible.  
  
Before he knew it, a buzzed Connor came back up with two glasses of water, only having spilled about half of one on the staircase on his way back up. He’d clean it later, if he remembered. More importantly, if he stayed.  
  
Connor put them down on the bedside table, sitting back down beside Jared, who was now sprawled across the bed, looking up at the ceiling.  
  
Only when Jared felt the bed shift did he actually look up to Connor. At the sight of the taller boy, Jared grinned, pushing himself up and shakily leaning against him. Jared’s legs found themselves pulled up, resting carefully over Connor’s thighs and the top of his knees.  
  
Connor swallowed, but wrapped one arm around Jared to support him. It was only to steady him. That was all. Or, so Connor forced himself to believe.  
  
Jared was more than happy with the position. So happy he started to speak again.  
  
“Y’know, Con, for a skinny, lanky boy, you’re pretty nice to rest against. And pretty. And nice.” Jared slurred just a bit, and it seemed that once Connor had looked at him, Jared sobered up a bit, too. But, the alcohol still flowed through his blood, so, it wasn’t by a lot.  
  
Connor let out a nervous laugh, brushing back his own hair. He truly didn’t know what to say. Apparently he didn’t need to speak, because then Jared was slumped against him, resting all of his weight onto Connor’s arm. Connor quickly shifted out from under Jared, holding him up by the shoulders.  
  
“I love you.” Jared mumbled out, his hands blindly grasping at the air, searching for a hold on Connor.  
  
“Have some water. I put the vodka back.” Connor said, completely disregarding Jared’s statement. He was drunk, and lying, and Connor felt sick all of a sudden.  
  
“I _love_ you.” Jared repeated, firm and more sure this time, even in such a state. His brows furrowed, and his lips were pulled into a pout and he looked so stern Connor wasn’t sure Jared wasn’t being serious anymore.  
  
Connor took a shaky breath in at the words. Then, he leaned forward, his arms moving from Jared’s shoulders to wrap behind him and bring him closer. Their lips meet.  
  
The kiss lasts a few seconds, and it’s sloppy and messy and frankly kind of gross, but, Connor nor Jared could get enough of it. They continue to kiss, exchanging that same moment over and over again. Their breaths reek of vodka but they really couldn’t stop kissing each other. Yet, finally, Connor had the sense to pull back.  
  
“I love you, too.”  
  
So, there they were. Drunk in love. Or, drunk and in love. But, soon enough Connor would leave before anything more could happen. After the kisses and a moment of actual contemplation, Connor’s eyes widened and he got up from the bed, rushing out of the door and almost falling over a few times. Just like that, their time was over and Connor was gone. A part of Jared was, too. One of the last pieces left, it felt.  
  
And, they’d look at each other in the halls occasionally, glaring at each other, but, mostly the feeling of their hearts fluttering at the sight of the other. It was...odd. Neither remembered that night, but, they felt what was left of it. Someday, maybe, they’d get together.  
  
Probably never. That was one time, and they were drunk, and nothing happened. Maybe, it’d happen again and again. And, it did. Although, nothing major happened each time, except they drank less and less and just spoke about anything and everything.  
  
Soon, they didn’t even need vodka to dull their shitty feelings, because with each other they didn’t have shitty feelings to dull. They thrived off of one another. That’s how their relationship started.  
  
Two broken kids and shitty vodka.


End file.
